Along the Pentland Road, 25 May 2017

Thursday, 22 November 2012

Kittens for sale

A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the pavement in front of her home. Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing FREE KITTENS.



Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead car stepped a chubby, grinning man.

"Hi there little girl, I'm Alex Salmond. What do you have in the basket?" he asked.
"Kittens," little Suzy said.
"How old are they?" asked Salmond. Suzy replied,
"They're so young, their eyes aren't even open yet."
"And what kind of kittens are they?"
"Scottish Nationalists," answered Suzy with a smile.

Salmond was delighted. As soon as he returned to his car, he called his PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens. Recognising the perfect photo op, the two men agreed that the Salmond should return the next day; and in front of the assembled media, have the girl talk about her discerning kittens.

So the next day, Suzy was again standing on the pavement with her basket of "FREE KITTENS" when another motorcade pulled up, this time followed by vans from STV, BBC, and CNN. Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up, then Salmond got out of his limo and walked over to little Suzy.

"Hello, again," he said, "I'd love it if you would tell all my friends out there what kind of kittens you're giving away."
"Yes sir," Suzy said. "They're Conservatives."
Taken by surprise, the Salmond stammered, "But...but...yesterday, you told me they were SCOTTISH NATIONALISTS."

Little Suzy smiled and said, "I know. But today, they have their eyes open."

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