Life in deh ilons... (with thanks for DearMissMermaid in Tortola, British Virgin Islands)
For all you geeks who speak techno language, I've rewritten the glossary for when you be in da ilons, so you aren't clueless about how we speak.
Hard Drive The road to Smugglers Cove Beach is a long hard drive.
Floppy Drive When your tire mash up, it sound like floppy-floppy-floppy until you fix it.
Jump Drive When da jeep don't start up, you roll down the hill, pop the clutch and it jump drive.
CD Drive When you go to the strip club at night, that's a seedy drive.
Removable Drive That's when you moved to a new place but your jeep takes you home to the wrong place, then you do a removable drive
Keyboard I can play Caribbean Soul on the keyboard.
USB I asked the tourist; "You is be from the USA?
Backups That's when you put the jeep in reverse.
BETA Software I took the under-wires out of my bikini bra, now I got better soft wear.
Database Put the lime in the rum and coconut, dhat a base for a good drink.
Debugger I divorced de bugger years ago.
E-commerce At da funeral, he come in hearse with flowers.
GIF At Christmas I buy you gift.
ICON I can write definitions all day for ya.
Leaderboard When she surf, she lead her board out to the waves.
Netiquette When the bugs bite you at night, you need a mosquito net-a-kit over your bed.
Network Making dem fish nets is net work.
Newsgroup The coconut telegraph is the best newsgroup.
OCR Oh! Sea are ruff today!
QWERTY After a few rums, you sound qwerty.
RAM Da he-sheep.
Screenshot Dat rat rip my window screen now da screen shot.
Safe Mode When ya make love with protection, that is safe mode.
DVD When ya make love without protection, you get de VD.
Telecommunications. Now that's a fancy word for dat ilon gossip.
URL I tell me ex "you are hell to get along with".
Web Ring You're pregnant girlfriend's father wants to see dat wed-ring.
Web Site That's the place where you gonna tie da knot.
Zip I don't know zip about geeky computer terms.