The internees

It seemed like such a good idea
Sign up for the reserves
Already at sea most of the time
An old salt could learn new tricks

More out than in past Arnish
Down by the Shiants
Up near Rona
Sidle up to the Atlantic, unbeatable

Go on exercise every once in a while
Get a nice sum every year
A retainer for being ready
To drop all for king and country

Well, they shot that man way out yonder
And now the world's gone mad
I've got to go down to England
Train up for the real shooting stuff

What's this, I'm told, we're in a Division?
Not at sea but on land
Mr Churchill says so, he's our boss
Down to old Antwerp, halt Jerry Hun

Not in your wildest dreams, we're going back west
Where's that train, oh dear we've missed it
The CO says go north, boys
Let's take our luck, head up into Holland

So here we are in the land of the level
An old city, kind folk
They've got as little food as we get
Horsemeat is about the best we can expect

No fighting for us, we're interned
Some have escaped, back to Blighty they went
Others were let out to help with harvest at home
Came back, as they'd given their word

Hurray! war is over, peace for our time
But we haven't really fought, have we
Our kinsmen and friends fell valiantly
Whilst we chewed the cud in the Low Countries

No, won't mention this ever again